Unconditional Obellescences: I don't feel like going

Unconditional Obellescences: I don't feel like going

Missionary Horse

Lost and hungry in the desert for a week, an American tourist finally spies a little church on the edge of the wilderness. Tired and weak, he collapses in the front porch, where a missionary finds him and cares for him. When the tourist is rested and ready to go on his way, he asks directions to the nearest town.

"Would you like to borrow my horse?" the missionary asks. The American responds, "Yes!" "Well, there is something special about this horse.You must say 'Thank God' to make him go and 'Amen' to make him stop."

Not paying much attention the tourist says, "Sure, okay."

So the tourist mounts the animal and says, "Thank God," and the horse starts walking. Then he says, "Thank God, thank God,"and the horse starts trotting. Finally feeling brave, the man says, "Thank God, thank God, thank God," and the horse leaps into a full gallop.

Suddenly a bluff with a three hundred foot drop appears on the horizon, and he does everything he can to make the horse stop. "Whoa! Stop! Help! Whoa!" Finally he remembers, "Amen!" and the horse stops four inches from the drop-off. Exhausted, the tourist leans back in his saddle and breathes a prayer, "Thank God!"

How to Get to Heaven?

A teacher asked the children in her Sunday school class, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to church, would I get to heaven?" "NO!" the children all answered. "If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the lawn, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get to go to heaven?" Again the answer was "NO!" "Well," she continued, "then how can I get to heaven?" In the back of the room, a five-year-old boy shouted, "You gotta be dead!"

The Verge~

A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name ?" Little Susan answered, "Mary." The teacher than asked, "And who knows what Jesus' father's name was?" Little Burt called out, "The Verge." Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that Burt?" The little boy smiled and responded,"Well, you know they are always talking about 'the Verge'n Mary'. "

hahaha!!!